We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize