If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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