Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
