got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
