I'd wear matching sweaters with you
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
