um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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