Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
