We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
