if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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