Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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