its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
