that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
