I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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