Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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