Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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