it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
