absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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