It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
