Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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