It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
