Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
