I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize