We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize