So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
