you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
