Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
