i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
