she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
