If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
