Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
