as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
