Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
