So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
