THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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