Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
