Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize