Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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