This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
