party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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