when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
