absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
