I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
