we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
