oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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