I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize