I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
farters have to be the big spoon...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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