I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
