My Higher Power is John Stamos
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
