I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
FUCK WHALES
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
