one might say we're banned from that church
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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