Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
