wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
