Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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