Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
