Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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