just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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