physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
