At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
